Dennis was a typical Irish farmer in a section of Ireland where electricity was still a rumor. One day his pregnant wife, feeling the pains, knew her time was near, so the doctor was sent for. The doctor asked Dennis to bring him a kerosene lamp so the delivery could be performed. The doctor asked Dennis to hold the light up close. The doctor worked for a while, and then the sound of a crying baby was heard. The doctor said, “You’ve got a son.”

Dennis said, “That deserves a bit of a drink, doesn’t it?”

The doctor indicated that there was more work to do. Soon another baby emerged, and the doctor reported, “That’s two boys.”

“I think I’ll open the good whiskey,” Dennis said.

The doctor said, “Hold the light closer.” In several minutes he came up with a little girl. He displayed her for the dazed father, who said, “Do you think the light’s attracting them?”

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