January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!!! … bottles won’t fit in printer !!!

March
Got really excited … finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months … box said “2-4 years!”

April
Trapped on escalator for hours … power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid … wrong instructions … 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing … couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition … learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm … car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is “C”… isn’t it???

October
Hate M & M’s … they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days … instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn’t call 911 . “duh”… there’s no “eleven” button on the stupid phone!!!

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