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Archive for October, 2006

Halloween Ball in Texas

October 30th, 2006

A Brazilian, attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, was dancing with a tourist girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a costume. Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor.

“What the heck happened?” asked a friend who had witnessed the entire event.

“I’m not really sure,” the man replied, rubbing his red cheek. “When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it.”

Four Worms in Four Cans

October 27th, 2006

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol – Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup – Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil – Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation – “What can you learn from this demonstration?”

A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”

Don’t you just love little old ladies????

Pets Go Trick or Treating

October 26th, 2006

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… if that’s not enough, there’s more.

A young couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. Just before leaving, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party and have a good time. Being the devoted husband, he protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed. She told him there was no need for him to miss the fun. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Because hubby did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some kicks watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not around.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor. He was dancing with every nice looking woman he could, and copping a feel here and taking a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him, and being a rather seductive woman herself, the man left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new “action”.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for his notorious behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked him what he had done.

He said, “Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.”

Then she asked, “Did you dance much?”

He replied, “I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I gotto the party, I met Pete, Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.

But I’ll tell you… the guy that I loaned my costume to sure had one hell of a time!”